About

Something about me

In Real Life my name is Jens and i'm Asperger-Autist. A part of my nickname "Anakin" comes from the old Star Wars Expanded Universe (Anakin Solo) and the "94" is my year when i was born. My interests are PS1 Demo's, Retro PC's, Retro Consoles (PS1 and PS2), Console modding, old videogames, blank CD-R's with 74 min/650 MiB, Star Wars (Not Disney Star Wars), Audio-Mastering, Metal Music, RC-Cars, 90's and early 2000's Lego. My favourite bands are Powerman 5000 and Rammstein. But i also like Eisbrecher, Lindemann, Emigrate, AC/DC, Black Sabbath, Marilyn Manson, Metallica and Alexander Marcus. Some of my favourite movies are Star Wars (Only what George Lucas made), Indiana Jones, Harry Potter. I really like the first two movies from Chris Columbus, the later ones changed too much the style and removed the feeling of magic. I also like Bud Spencer and Terence Hill and Arnold Schwarzenegger movies. My favourite videogames are Destruction Derby 2, Star Wars Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace, Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2, Tony Hawk's Underground 1, Spyro Trilogy (PS1), Nascar Racing 2, FlatOut 2, Counter-Strike 1.6, Jak and Daxter - The Precursor Legacy, Frontschweine (Hogs of War), Lego Island, Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas, Re-Volt and Crash Bandicoot (all PS1 games). And many more old games, but the list would get too long. ;-)

A bit about my autism

I got the diagnosis very late, but it's good to know what's wrong with me. Very early as a child i notice, that i was different than other child's. Since i know what weekdays are, i see them as symbols and pictures. I played often alone and instead of building and playing with Lego i sorted the parts. I remember that i was on a birthday and was thinking that i'm alone with the birthday child, but it was full of other childs. I set down in a corner and waited that i can go. I also liked to play with roles of tape. Since the school begans, i got every sunday stomach pain, this continues until today. I know it's the scare of the unkown day, the pressure to perform and the loud class. The kids in the school mobbed me, i was bullied at every school i went to. Other children said evil things to me, making jokes about my bright skin color (because i hate bright light and sun), stealed my things and put food in my neck etc. But with all this problems, i got my Fachabitur (University student?). I never knew what to work and people said i should do a training to an industrial mechanic. I finished it, but i didn't made the proof/examination by myself. The training was one of my biggest mistake in my life. It was horrible, because i understand things wrong and the loud noise made's me insane. On the work i got mobbed heavily and got more and more depressed, that i wanted to kill me. The stomach pain got also extremly and i had every day scare of the next unknown day. Nobody understand me. I got in my life often overloads, shutdowns and meltdowns. Meltdowns let my cry for hours, or days. If i got a big meltdown, i punch uncontrolled myself and around me. I searched for help and i got my diagnosis. It was very clear. But it was unclear why nobody helped me before. People are evil and like to hurt people that are different. Back to my problems, i also hate certain changes. In my childhood i had problems to go alone to the toilet, or drinking out off a glass. Instead i wanted to drink out of a babybottle for a very long time. I like to viewing audiowaves of music and i can clearly say without hearing the music, if i like it or not. I have to like the waveform. And i don't really like the technicial progress in general, because all is going bloated and inefficient. My interests also really didn't changed in the years. I hate to go out, because there it is very loud and in the summer it's to bright. When i have to go out, i have to wear ear protection plugs. I think that is enough, but these are not even close to my problems with my autism. I hope that autism and psychological illnesses would learned in schools, to understand these people. Also parents have to understand this. If they have a child with autism, they have to accept this and support his hobbies and interests. When parents try to understand their autistic child, it's much more pleasant for it.